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院主九哭先父  

2008-03-02 21:01:45|  分类: 1 院主宗祠 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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(家中电脑里没有安装中文处理系统,因而只有暂用英文写出,待到实验室后再将之译为中文。)

爹,儿孙们想念您,儿孙们爱您!您的音容将永远留在儿孙们心中!

作为您的长子,儿为以往所做过的几件事而感到愧疚。爹,这里还请您原谅儿子!

第一件令儿愧疚的事,是儿没有能为您和妈妈供奉充足的、您们所喜爱用的食物。儿总是在想,我们“有的是时间,”儿“将来”会好好去那样做的。然而,现在儿子的这个“将来”对您来说,已是永远不会再有的了。爹,儿此刻心中疚愧难当,就好似当年您看到幼年的儿等捡拾别人扔掉的甘蔗梢(根)吃时心中所涌出的难过一样。

另一件事,是儿中止了您的北京之行,同时还有儿没有能陪您游览即使是我们家乡河南的一些名胜。1995年冬,您计划要到北京一游,陪同的有弟伟和弟媳。考虑到他们两人的蜜月之旅,儿没有同意您的计划。当时儿想(之后也仍这样认为),我们会有到北京去玩的机会的。可事实上,这样的机会我们是永远没有的了。访问北京没能让您成行,甚而连家乡胜地也没有伴您同行,让儿愧煞!

第三件,但不是最后一件令儿感到愧疚的事,是关于我家楼房的建筑。儿之所以愧疚,一方面是没有能如您所愿,尽早将宽敞的房屋建起;另一方面,是儿没有能找到合适的机会向您解释清楚儿当时的真实想法。让您带着不解离开,儿心中愧甚。爹,儿可以不后悔且无愧地对您和妈妈说,当时不同意另外三个弟弟的建议马上动工建楼,并不是出于我自己的私人之虑,而是考虑到其他两个大弟弟的经济条件:伟刚刚参加工作(尚未结婚),三弟的生意还小。1995年冬,儿在泰安曾写信给伟解释,但可惜的是他没有能收到那封信。爹,现在请您接受儿的解释:儿当时不同意他们,并不是儿不想为大家庭做出贡献。

......

爹,儿不是一个无神论者,但过去并没有为任何神仙烧过香,甚至对祖宗也只跪拜而不烧香。然而,以后儿要烧香,因为儿想通过烧香为您祈(冥)福,让香给您捎去儿等的绵绵思念!

附:英文原稿

(No Chinese word processing software is now available at home. Therefore, I have to write temporarily in English. The passage will be translated into Chinese when I reach my lab.)

Father, your sons miss and love you! Your likeness remains fresh forever!

Your eldest son, me, feels uneasy and ashamed for his following doings in the past. Father, please forgive me!

The first thing that makes me feel uneasy is that I have not provided you and Mother with sufficient you-like-very-much foods. I think there is plenty of time for me to do that and I would do it in the near future. But at present, this "future" does no longer exist! Father, it is just like that you felt afflictive when you saw your sons in their childhooh pick up abandoned tips and butts of sugar cane to enjoy, that I feel afflictive when above thinking comes to my mind.

The other, is that I halted your journey to Beijing and that I did not go together with you to visit even Henan resorts. In the winter of 1995, you proposed to visit Beijing, accompanied by Brother Wei and his newly-married wife. Upon considering their journey is of honey moon, I did not agree on your plan. I thought, and have been thinking, that we would have another chance to visit Beijing. But in fact, we will not. To be much more regrettable is that we even did not together visit Henan resorts!

The third, but not the last, thing making me feel uneasy is about our building construction. On one hand, I feel ashamed that no spaceous house was built as early as you expected. On the other, I did not clearly express to you my thinking of the time. Father, I do not feel regretful and would say to you and Mother that why I did not agree with other three younger brothers on building constructing time was not because of your eldest son's, my, own reason, but of my consideration upon your other two elder sons' economical situation: Wei had just got his first position and had not got married, and Zhan's business was very small. I wrote Wei expressing my thinking in late 1995, but it is regrettable that he did not receive the mail I sent from Tai'an. Father, please accept this expression: why I did not agree with them is not because I was reluctant to make my contribution to our Family.

...

Father, I am not an atheist, but I used not to burn incense sticks for gods and even for our forefathers. However, I would in future, because I incense in order to bring our regards to you, my respectable Father!

                              壬午孟夏二十日写、廿一日译於奥本

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